Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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