the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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