I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
