Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
