were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
