I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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