We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
