and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
