She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize