new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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