Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
