How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
