How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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