Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize