On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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