....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
