Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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