Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
