I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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