Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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