i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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