So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
