So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
