at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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