just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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