I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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