Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
