Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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