I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
