I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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