To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
