Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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