so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
