i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
