it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
