Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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