i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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