I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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