Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
