And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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