Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
