You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
