I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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