I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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