I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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