what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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