plz talk dirty to me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
