ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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