why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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