Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
