i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We left an ass print on the piano.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
