is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
3pm strippers are depressing
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
