her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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