I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
