but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
