ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
