I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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