you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
