I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
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I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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